He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
