Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
