i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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