Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
