just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
