The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
