Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
