Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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