Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
