I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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