i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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