Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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