Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
