Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
