you have to choose: penises or morals?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
