White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
