I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
