Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
