This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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