Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
