just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
