Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
