Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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