"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
