Duck Duck Cougar?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
