Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
