I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
