u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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