Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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