I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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