Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
