All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
