i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
