Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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