she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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