Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
we made out on top of his cat.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
