the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
