that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
