Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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