Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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