we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize