Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
