yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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