I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
