we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
