walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
