I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
