Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
