I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
