How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
