Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
