Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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