You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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