but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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